05 Oops

We all make mistakes, and have our "oops" moments, and when those mistakes affect others, being able to apologize well is a skill I wish I had inherited from my Uncle Harry...

The Apology

Harry Kenyon, Jr., my uncle, went to West Point in 1941, and would write home to his family weekly; I have these letters, and in the last couple years have transcribed them all. I was going through these chronologically and was initially perplexed at the ones written in late March of his plebe year because he failed to note his mother's birthday, March 23. When I got to his May 4 letter my confusion was cleared up – and the apology that Harry wrote to his mother for his forgetfulness made me wish I had read these letters as a child: what an example!
 
Harry wrote:

"Dear Mother, All of a sudden one day this week it struck me that I had grossly mailed my indifferent correspondence week after week and right by your birthday on March 23. There are some things I do that regularly appall me but that really stopped me. I still don’t see how I did it. I even remember reading right thru a paragraph in your letter in which you said that you all went to Communion on March 23. Sure, on Mother’s birthday I said, nodding to myself & passing on without a glimmer of intelligence. Just how did you ever put up with my inexcusable carelessness? And how did you figure I did such a thing? Maybe I just depend so much on you to remind me of my obligations that I just didn’t conceive of anybody’s birthday getting by without one of your timely warnings. Maybe you figure I’m old enough to know better, and I’m not. Perhaps I’m even more selfish than I’m accustomed to admit. But I can’t ask you to forgive me or even watch me more closely. Just maybe allow for me. Tho God knows if you have to allow for me forgetting important things like my mother’s birthday just when & how can I be trusted?"

Like all Harry's letters, this is written out in longhand, no going back to correct and edit, so this pretty much flowed directly from his mind, after mulling it over a day or two. Harry was the oldest child, and comes across as intelligent and confident in his letters, but can occasionally be self-deprecating. I'll write more about Harry in future blogs...
 
But maybe the future holds a less earnest possibility. Typing "write an effusive apology to my mother for forgetting her birthday" into ChatGPT, I get:
 

"Dear Mom, I am so incredibly sorry for forgetting your birthday. I know how important this day is to you and I cannot even begin to express how remorseful I am for not being there to celebrate with you. I know that my actions have caused you pain and disappointment, and for that, I am truly sorry. Please know that my forgetfulness in no way diminishes my love and appreciation for you. You are an incredible mother and I am so grateful for all that you do for our family. I promise to make it up to you and to be more attentive in the future. I love you so much, Mom. Happy belated birthday. Sincerely, (Your Name)."

 
I think Harry has it beat, hands down!